How to win by losing.

It’s good to be a loser sometimes.

That’s probably not a message you are familiar with hearing. This decade (indeed this milenium) has all been about winning. How to be better, smarter and more successful than everyone else. How then can losing be good?

What follows is a personal account of how I stopped winning and started losing and what that taught me.

The hypocritical compass

If our expectations and our desires are considered, in the geographical sense, as a giant mountain standing adjacent to another similar such mountain representing the reality of our affairs then the valley which joins them – its descriptive nature including both its depth and its width – determine how happy or sad we ultimately are….

Visiting the Lake District; Coniston the King’s estate.

This blog post is about my recent visit (2nd July – 6th July 2018) to Coniston and in particular our stay at the Lake Bank Lodge in the Crake Valley Park. With a background like this – even the birds like to pose! Picture taken by author. Coniston is the third largest lake in the…

Happiness Series Part 5: Hardship to Ease; the Alchemy of Happiness.

“It is a paradoxical but profoundly true and important principle of life that the most likely way to reach a goal is to be aiming not at that goal itself but at some more ambitious goal beyond it.” A. J. Toynbee For thousands of years people, including some of the greatest scientific and philosophical minds,…

Marriage and Felicity: Part 1

The following series of extracts, forming the marriage series, are based on my own experiences. They are set within the context of a traditional Asian marriage and begin with my own real life experiences from my first marriage. Since a considerable has elapsed since then I have also incorporated my own general observations from other…

A father’s love for his daughter, Part 2.

Given her size and weight at birth, we spent the first six months worrying about every little conceivable thing. Any raised temperature (measured using our sophisticated Star Trek like probe) or any difficulty breathing (measured using our not so sophisticated ears) were always a cause of concern. It was a relief to see her grow…

A father’s love for his daughter, Part 1.

The love a father has for his daughter is not something that can be easily put into words. And yet I am going to try. All fathers will know to some extent how their whole life and identity changes on assuming this role. For those who are not a father yet (and maybe for those…

On why I will always walk alone

  “My good opinion once lost is lost forever” Mr Darcy, Pride and Prejudice.   I always felt that as I grew older I would naturally become more forgiving of the faults in others. My reasoning went along the lines that the more mistakes I accumulated in my life, and the more I understood human…

Happiness Series, Part 4; The importance of time.

  You wake up slowly from a deep sleep and are surprised that your alarm clock did not go off. Slightly concerned that you might have overslept, you look across to your bedside table only to notice that your alarm clock is no longer there. Confused, but eager to know the time, you reach for…